Who Wants That?

What's real?real is the thought that I'd lay down my life for what I believe in..& that I hold dear to my heart,not just sit in the back talking somebody else's talk.I don't proclaim to be no killer, but if it's your thought to cause me bodily harm then I won't think twice..more than words,we have all these fake ass dudes walking around throwing up signs and claiming to be so hardcore but got all of that literature from a damn movie or something like that,anybody that's associated with the projects in any way,associated with the hood in any way,starred down that gun at any point,went hungry struggling for that next meal they know,I ain't about to glorify s***! Oops...did I use profanity?you Not supposed to let anyone hear you speak that way!...(but it's ok as long as the rest of the world doesn't hear you😁in the privacy of your own home.So look this way,you don't see the gold grillz,you don't see me talking that gangsta talk,my pants don't hang off my ass,every other word that comes out of my mouth isn't nig** now,I appreciate the small things in life,I appreciate the touch and company of a beautiful woman,and know that beauty doesn't limit to some skinny supermodel perception. I appreciate each and every meal that I receive,the shoes that I put on my feet,but I tell you something that I don't appreciate is these so called religious ones out there finding God then condemning the rest of the world that doesn't follow you,more than words is the fact that instead of looking down at the world try working to spread that message to others and not the big bad bully on the playground way😏 I'm not so quick to prove how bad I 

am anymore,more than words prove it to who?thought,it's pointless ..well it's like I said before perception is a funny thing & a lot of these people out here nowadays have a serious problem with fact & fiction,because if it's not wrapped in a pretty little package then who wants that?

The Tree

Man,as I sit and watch this tree,this old tree..how old are you tree?,are you happy?if you had a choice what would you rather be?my,my,my,the things you must have seen,things you must have encountered.Season after season passes by and just like clockwork you go through your routine changes,seems to me that nothing really does change,or not significant enough to to brag about,but I notice..notice your leaves change colors,notice as they slowly fall away,notice as ice covers your trunk and branches then notice when it has all melted away. I see you tree..when everyone else just walks or runs around you,climbs you,leans on you,but never really pays attention to you,I see you.Watching you out of my window as your leaves begin to return,wow,another year and the process has started all over again the questions on my mind..will there be anything different?will there be any unsuspected surprises in store? I often find myself looking past the things that are in front of me missing out on the importance of living wishing for more which may never come 

What's Your Motivation

If you take a good look around you hot shot..EVERYONE has a motive,or ulterior motive for everything we do.. good or bad,but just because you're too busy thinking that your the shit,your shit don't stink,head up your ass,doesn't mean it's not there beneath all that bullshit

The Power Of Perception

Perception is a funny thing,because the mind tends to believe whatever it wants either way. We,or at least I know I do,have the tendency to reiterate things that I want to believe or convince myself of as well as the people around me also,no matter whether something's true or not,as long as I believe it,and everyone else believes it it's reality to me.. I'm famous,everything and everybody is talking about me,everyone,or just a specific someone is out to hurt me (also,does creating a common enemy bring the most uncommon people together?) veryone wants or desires me,this person is this,this person is that, until that day that reality collides with what we have perceived as reality and now it's time to own up to the perception that we have built. Now,it seems easier to just have been honest with myself first of all,then everyone else into start with,does it not?

You don't like it?Who the hell cares!

I know in this day & time that everyone won't approve the stuff that I have to say,but who the hell cares..quit hurting people with your bullying,your baseless taunting,deceitful & manipulative lies to gain ones support.Nowadays everybody wants to be ego stroked or praised for doing nothing,well I say f*** praise! & ego means about as much to me as a cup with a hole in the bottom,pointless or useless. If I don't talk like I was raised inside a cage or cave nobody's clapping..nobody's giving me a million views..sharing & sending me viral..so fn what,I'm still voicing my opinions & that's just what they are my view on things no matter how close some of my stuff hit close or touch nerves keep the vanity I'm not talking specifically to or for anyone personally. I do feel the need to open my eyes & accept that this world is not the big circus that a large percentage would portray it as,but money is money I guess,& most will do just about anything to get their share.Education didn't start in schools,a lot of our ancestors were self educated people (think about that) live life & have fun doing it,but know that ignorance is bliss & there is a fine line between having fun & the assassination of ones character. People can & will say & do things to destroy you in order to uplift themselves,but to me,when you not liked or welcomed with open arms by the masses you're either misunderstood, doing or saying something right,or perhaps just a flat out p-o-s.. where do you fit in 

The Society Of Parenthood

(Me)Mom I'm pissed...

(Mom)Why?

(Me) I was telling your granddaughter to do something yesterday & her hard head wouldn't listen so I tapped her with the belt, & I mean tapped her 

(Mom)Oh boy

What happened?

(Me)she had a fit telling her mom I'm going to tell my teacher that dad abused me 

(Mom)Are you serious!

(Me)Then she (her mom) lashes out at me as if she agreed with her

(Mom)Have she gone mad?

(Mom)I'm sorry but you live in a mad house 

(Mom) don't know how she(other daughter) made it

(Me) I mean mom I wasn't even serious..I was just getting her attention, It wasn't even a hard tap

(Mom)So what you think is going to happen now

(Mom)What kind of woman/mother couldn't or wouldn't see that? 

(Mom)So what you think is going to happen now?                                           (Me) Like?nothing is going to happen..like I said she got her feeling hurt & did the typical new age child bs,you can't discipline me or I'm going to yell child abuse

(Mom) You have to be careful with that stuff now 

(Me) I'm just upset that I have that type of child,the one that is manipulative & vindictive & doesn't want to follow rules unless it's on their terms

(Mom) That's bad 

(Me) Like I said before you have a world full of unconcerned, misguided,honestly abusive,lowdown,dastardly parents in this world but I'm not one of them

(Me)It's easy to let a child disrespect you and tell you no,that they will not do what you say,talk back,call you nasty names,curse you out with profanity and in some instances swing on you or even hit you,

That's where she(my daughters mom) is headed 

(Me) I'm pissed because at what point are we as parents allowed to do just that,be parents,when did it become a debate on who's the child and who's the parent?that every little disciplinary action is considered "abuse"

(Mom) You are correct but unfortunately it's a delicate situation and they are always on the child side 

(Me) Side?,are me and my child against each other?..there is no side..only parents and children and a society of individuals trying to bully my sense of direction in a world where we frown upon just that,bullying...     How do you think for yourself when the thinking is being done for you! at what point do we have the right to make valid and adequate choices in or own lives concerning our kids?Understanding that there will always be bad apples on every apple tree,and as much as they want to believe that everyone should adhere to one set standard,we are all individual,and no one set standard can practically apply to everyone with there being so many different dynamics 

Wtf do you do when your child just doesn't seem to see the bigger picture😤😔

Today my son was arrested..for what?taking someone's cellphone.Now if its not already bad enough we are already going through a bunch of other stuff that I won't get deep into. How does a positive effort turn into more negative bs? I have no clue,this was supposed to be an effort to keep him motivated to do good,keep his mind off of negative things & also to keep him active.Not only does he manage to get into trouble,but he does it right under my nose,because I sit with him through his practices.Now the overly positive attitude to have would be to say,oh it's not my fault,there's nothing that i could've done about it & im doing the best that I can..or let reality set in & get pissed about it & the fact that I'm extremely exhausted & exhausting almost every tactic that I can think of to get through to this kid & nothing's working or changing. Hey,you can always take the barbarian way and club them over the head a few times..nah,don't need social services on your ass for child abuse right,lol at that one. I've come a long way from the philosophy that I use to have on the word parenting and believe me it's not the in line one sided crap that the masses push on us because we're all happy until it's our kid on the news for killing us,murder,sexual assault,drug trafficking,etc. right. Best put,you can instill all of the junk that we're taught builds character,or step out of the line and individually give our child our own practical and also practiced views,because really,we are made to take care of *our*kids,held responsible for everything that *our* kids do,then governed  on our methods of parenting *our* kids.. hmmm,sounds like to me we have no control at all. Okay,so I'll just keep trying,remembering that everyones situation is different and that me doing my best is the best that I can do,keep pushing positive statements in his ear,keep pushing participation as well as personality and promote plus enforce consequences for poor choices and hold faith that that'll be enough pull him through